Dear Friends,

Welcome to this month’s issue of The Survivor, the official e-newsletter of Villa Licci.  We thank you for supporting our unique mission and for joining us in creating and cultivating a residential community for adult survivors of traumatic brain injury.  Below you will find a roundup of recent blog posts, upcoming events, notable happenings, and more.

If you have any questions or would like to share your ideas, please feel free to reach out to me.

Richard Sontag

Executive Director
Villa Licci

February is often referred to as the “month of love.”  Valentine’s Day is marketed as the most romantic day of the year and is also one of the most popular days to get engaged.  Society is inundated with movies about love and commercials about what to buy for the ones you love.

The Hallmark Channel is known for its movies about love and relationship. One movie recently featured a woman who had suffered from a TBI.  Her character was a peripheral one – not one of the leads.  All that was shared of her story was she had an injury that landed her in the hospital with a TBI and then she worked really hard for a couple of years to overcome everything.  Her life had basically returned to “normal” and there wasn’t evidence of any long-term effects of her TBI. She was remarried and co-parenting her daughter with her ex. And everyone lived happily ever after.

However, life is not a Hallmark movie, and many people do suffer from long-term effects of their TBI.  Sometimes these affect their relationships, both platonic and romantic.  Reading many of the survivor stories from individuals associated with Villa Licci, you will discover that all of them had relationships that changed after their TBI.

Some lost romantic partners or spouses, others found friends slowly stopped coming around.  Still more found that the dynamics within their families changed.

A TBI often affects not only physical abilities but also cognitive and emotional ones as well.  The ability to sustain a conversation, to remember important dates and events, to avoid mood swings and angry outbursts are all good characteristics to have to sustain positive and lasting relationships.  Unfortunately, these are often compromised by a TBI and its after-effects.

Loved ones of someone who has suffered a TBI often share how they have to get to know the person again, since much has changed.  They say it seems as if the person they once knew was lost and they don’t know if they’ll ever come back.

The survivor often feels that way, too.  They may remember who they were and struggle to become that person again.  And they have to adapt to the way those in their lives interact with them after their injury.

Unfortunately, some relationships are lost in the months and years following a TBI.

But relationships are not doomed to fail. And the loss is not inevitable. A study in the journal NeuroRehabilitation found that people with a TBI are not at greater risk for divorce relative to the general population.¹ Even though it is hard work to maintain a strong relationship, it can and does happen.

During this month of love, we should all take time to ge grateful for all the relationships in our lives, and to make more effort to nurture those that are struggling.  The community of Villa Licci will be a place of support for survivors to grow in relationship with others and to form new relationships with others in the community.

 

1. Kreutzer, J. S., Marwitz, J. H., Hsu, N., Williams, K., & Riddick, A. (2007). Marital stability after brain injury: An investigation and analysis. NeuroRehabilitation, 22(1), 53-59.

Many times, when focusing on life after a TBI, the discussion and research concentrate on the physical and cognitive effects.  Of late, however, there has been more and more research into the social and emotional effects of a traumatic brain injury.  The results are very eye-opening.

Friends and Family are there in the beginning

In the first weeks after an injury, months and if lucky, year or so, friends and family are consistently reaching out to the families and survivors of Traumatic Brain Injury. They check in with the survivor to see how they are feeling and where they are in their recovery. Some may even offer to take them out to do something that they may have enjoyed in the past.

Most often, these friends and family come to realize that this person may not be the same as they were before their injury, and they slowly move on. Maybe it’s because it’s too difficult for them to face, or maybe it’s just the timing in people’s lives. Nonetheless, the TBI survivor is left without interaction with his/her friends and family who once were there for them.

In addition, some of these people make unkind comments in passing, such as “when will he/she be normal again”, or “just put him/her in a home with people like him/her”.  They have no idea that their words are hurtful, and they may even think they are helping.

But words do hurt, as does the loss of the community the survivor once enjoyed.

What comes next?

And so, the survivor continues attending therapies, working towards that goal of becoming the person they were before their injury. But as time moves on, they realize things will never be as they were.

Slowly, depression creeps in and they become more isolated.

A study out of Harvard showcases the fact that loneliness is more deadly than morbid obesity and other health risks that are more often discussed and showcased. There is a theory – the “RAM Model” – which suggests people who find themselves lonely require cognitive, behavioral, and interpersonal resources. However, many TBI survivors don’t have access to resources like these.

In fact, in many areas they are nonexistent.

What if…

What if there was a place where a survivor could easily find all of these resources?  What if there was a residence for these adults to break out of their loneliness and form community?

It is our hope that Villa Licci would help these individuals to find a place they can call home.  To be around others who are going through the same thing as they are and can be support to each other.   Lessening the feeling of loneliness and isolation so they can improve their overall outlook and mental health.

Dear friends,

Happy New Year!

Welcome to this month’s issue of The Survivor, the official e-newsletter of Villa Licci. We thank you for supporting our unique mission and for joining us in creating and cultivating a residential community for adult survivors of traumatic brain injury. Below you will find a roundup of recent blog posts, upcoming events, notable happenings, and more.

We are excited to announce that our matching gift campaign at the end of last year netted $15,000! Your donations of $7,500 were matched by a generous donor – dollar for dollar – doubling your impact!

We are also pleased to share we have been awarded the Platinum Seal of Transparency from Candid by Guidestar for 2023. This is the highest Seal of Transparency a nonprofit can be awarded and reflects the ethical business and fundraising practices we aim to uphold. This is our second consecutive year of qualifying at this level.

You can view our full Guidestar profile here.

If you have any questions or would like to share your ideas, please feel free to reach out to me.

We look forward to what 2023 will continue to bring.

Richard Sontag

Executive Director
Villa Licci

Like many others this time of year, a group of over 100 TBI survivors and their families recently gathered for a festive Christmas party.

There was food, of course, a meal for everyone to enjoy together.  In addition, everyone had the chance to help create dessert as they had fun decorating Christmas cookies.

Various forms of entertainment included a caricaturist, a photo booth, and visits from Mr. and Mrs. Claus.  There was even a DJ playing festive and fun music throughout the evening.

Perhaps the most fun was had out on the dance floor, just enjoying being with each other.  The Macarena was one of the biggest hits of the night. Those who were able even helped take those in wheelchairs out for a musical spin so all could participate, regardless of mobility needs.

Overall, it was a wonderful evening of friends, food, and fun.  We know many survivors are eagerly anticipating the day when they will be living closer together in the Villi Licci community so more spontaneous dance parties and get-togethers will be possible.